Why aren't men like dogs?

How I wish men could be like dogs, or the least they could do was learn from them. I don't mean men should start barking and whining, or treat their partners like a dog treats another female dog (I don't wanna use the "B" word). I'm talking about the qualities of a dog - they're your best friend, they love you, and above all, they're loyal. Yeah sure, dogs also piss you off by pooping on your new carpet or bark the place down when you have visitors; but they make up for it by offering a love so potent that it overwhelms and humbles you. Then you wonder, 'Why can't I love like that? or 'Why cannot I get love like that?'.

And if you think such love is impossible, then think again, and then again if you please, because I have seen such love. I actually know a man who loves like that and has those qualities. When you need him, he's there for you, when you fall, he catches you...basically, this guy fulfils all the criteria that have been mentioned in songs on love like When you say nothing at all or Will you be there (to which the answer is YES, by the way). He's almost the perfect guy. I use the word 'almost' not because he's not, but just because no girl, or anybody else in this world, is ever satisfied. So I guess that answers my question. We cannot have doggie qualities coz we're humans and always desire things we don't have. Wow, I got to the point pretty quickly, didn't I? :)

So, woof, woof for now, I have a marriage to attend! And no matter how many people tell me I'm looking nice today, the almost-invisible little black dot on my face is going to continue to bother me :D

A diet full of food

I was very, very determined to wake up at 6 AM today, but being a Master Procrastinator, I managed to snuggle down for another 30 minutes more before my conscience began to prick me, and then abandoned my bed with alacrity when it bit me. The silver lining is that 6.40 AM is not bad at all compared to 9.30, which is like afternoon for me. I was supposed to do some stretches and all, but got late so couldn't do them. Anyway, there's always a tomorrow, begging the pardon of Mr. Keating for contradicting him.

I plan to keep myself fit 'n' fine by eating right and eating on time. 8 AM breakfast, 11 AM a fruit snack small one coz I don't really enjoy fruits), 1 PM lunch (the curd will keep acidity at bay), 4.30 PM snacks (I solemnly swear to lay off the fried chicken nuggets), 7.30 PM dinner. Today things have been delayed by half an hour, but that's ok, one has to make some exceptions. So, since today is an exceptional day, I think I might as well get started on the nuggets ;)

The plan is to keep fit, and NOT, as some may think a diet to slim down. But yeah, if I start snacking on fruits and boiled veggies (yuck!!!) and lose a little weight in the bargain, I'm not complaining! :D

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock and so on & so forth...

Traces of yesterday's headache still linger, but I'm sure I'll feel better after breakfast. Sausages and bread today...yummy! :)

I've got to convert my mobile's postpaid plan into prepaid, and if they refuse to do so, I'll simply get it cancelled. After that I'll be joining French classes! Finally found one that sounds good (according to a friend), so going over to check it out. If I join today, I'll be able to attend my first French class. Then maybe I'll be able to come up with something more than just Bonjour :)

My cousin Swati also wants to join the same class, so I hope they take in kids (she's just 13). What fun it'll be! She's really sweet and learning with her would be a new experience. Hope it works out...

I'll be going to her place after the class and have dinner with the family. I love going there, especially coz of the two labs they have - Cutie and Buddy. Both of them jump on me like mad things and nearly well scratch me to bits! Best love is a dog's love :)

I'm off to fry sausages and then follow my timetable like clockwork. Toodles!

I can't see my Followers!!! Help! :(

It's true! I just cannot see who's following me even when I sign into my account. And I can't even see the gadget on my blog or for that matter, anybody else's blog. It just shows a blank space with the title of Followers. HELP!!!

A delayed day

I woke up at 9.30 AM today with a severe headache. I think it was triggered off by acidity; last night I came home at 10.30 PM and had dinner. Anyway, I had decided to make corn upma for breakfast, which took a lot of time. Moreover, I misjudged the amount of corn I had and put in too many green chillies. My tummy immediately turned into an inferno. By the time I finished breakfast and cleaning the dishes, it was almost 12. I should have started cooking lunch then, but the hammer inside my head continued to strike so assiduously that I had to lie down. I began wondering what I would do for lunch, because my health does not permit me to eat from a hotel. Could things be any worse?

Yes, they could! Just then the electricity went phut! Now I had a headache, I was lying down and feeling unbearably hot. Around 2.30 PM, I began making onion parathas and fell prey to all seven of them! The upshot of it was that I fell into a deep, deep sleep and awoke to find the house in darkness. Mercifully, the fan was running, which meant the electricity was back. I don't have a headache now, but I don't feel like making anything for dinner. And after that enormous lunch of parathas dripping in ghee, I should just retire on fruits. I hope I sleep by at least 2 AM coz I have to go out tomorrow.  

   

Broke the block!!!

I finally did it! I managed to break through my writer's block!!! Yippppppppppppppeeeeeeeeee! :D :D :D

Last night I went to bed at 11 PM, but couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned and turned and tossed...you get the drift. Anyway, suddenly, this idea that I had long, long ago in my mind, sprouted. Excited, I sat up in bed, thinking hard. That was the moment of truth for me. It struck me with full force that if I would not write down this story, I never would. And if I wouldn't write it then, I could probably say goodbye to writing forever...

After a long day's work it's difficult to write anything. I mean, you're more dead than alive at midnight if you have been slaving in office from 9 AM to 10 PM in office; but this time circumstances were different. After a day that involved only eating, sleeping and blogging, I felt like I could write all night long if necessary!

And how I wrote! My nerves were tingling in anticipation and brain was rushing along at a pace my writing could barely cope with. Once started, I could not stop till the finish. In case I haven't mentioned this before, I love writing stories for children. This particular one is for kids aged between, say, 6-10 years. Now I just have to edit my first draft and then complete the series. I'm out of the pit!!!

Cheers to life!

Look!!!! My new look!!!!!

Gosh, I'm so excited about my new look! Not mine, I mean, my blog's new look. We bloggers get so carried away by our blogs that we forget it's not us we're talking about. I took the advice of Mr. Stupid - who's a Smart Guy in disguise although I'm not sure why :p - and have changed my blog. Isn't it better now???? Doooooooooo say yes, or my heart'll be broken into a million, no, make that a zillion, fragments that will be borne away by the wind :(

Give your comments please, and make sure they're nice ones ;)

I changed the header coz everytime I wrote a sad or irritated incident, people would say, cheer up, life is beautiful like your blog says. I got tired of getting caught in my own snare, and hence the change.

People have been asking me to change my template since ages, but I was too lazy to comply. Sankoobaba, I hope your happy now! :)

Now what are goggling at? I'm done posting. Go comment, comment, comment!!!

Power nap...a very long one :)

I found a good website that teaches French, but it seemed to be teaching sentences and phrases rather than grammar. So I let my sleep overtake me and was soon dead to the world :)

I'm feeling great now after that nap. After some coffee and chicken nuggets, I plan to make gajjar halwa. Don't get the idea that I like making all this. It's just that there's way too much milk and I don't want it to get spoilt. When I opened the fridge now, wondering what to do about it, I saw the carrots staring in my face. I've been trying to avoid them so far. It's all very well to buy healthy stuff like prunes and carrots and then avoid eating them. Anyway, when I saw them, I thought, what the hell; I don't want them to get spoilt either someday. But first things, first...coffee and nuggets. Yum! :)

Bonjour!

I said Good Morning not because I have just awoken from my deep nightly slumber, but because I don't know how to say Afternoon in French :P

Anyway, I've been having a nice time since yesterday. Cooked food, cleaned the house, slept, ate, drank coffee, read, ate, drank coffee, surfed the Net, ate, and then finally slept again. Gosh, how many things I do in a single day! :)

I've been wanting to learn French since a long time, and thought no time like the present to commence lessons. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a tutor as yet. So I shall commence by learning French online! Three cheers to the Internet!

I'm happy coz I've gotten several story ideas. After some more developments, I shall be ready to pen things down. I just hope I can write; I've become so used to the keyboard that my hands quiver like jelly when I even think of taking up a pen and notepad.

Au revoir for now, I shall begin my lessons. Shhhhhhhhhsh, do NOT disturb!

See you this evening!

Two-way traffic, but one at a signal

Its so irritating when people you have given the VIP tag don’t bother about you, and I seem to be meeting a lot of people like that. I really fail to understand them. They bloody say they care about you, love you and all that bally tosh, and where the hell are they when you need them? Poof! They vanish like a puff of smoke.

And these people don’t bother to call, SMS or return your calls. However, the minute I stop calling, hells foundations begin to quiver and I’m told I don’t call or that I only call when I have need something. Just now I was yelling at someone for not calling me since the past two days, and he dared to ask me why I didn’t call. What cheek! That too when I’ve been making incessant phone calls and flooding his inbox with several messages. Its so irritating when people are like that. One apology would have been enough, but I guess even that is hard to come by nowadays.

Its so easy if I like a person and that person doesn’t like me back. Then I can’t expect an SMS, let alone a phone call. But my life seems full of people who claim to love (a word I take very seriously) me and yet don’t give a damn when I have high fever or whatever. So, although the traffic is two-way, one seems have halted at a red signal. And one long wait it is. You’ll wonder now why I’m still in contact with them, why don’t I break off relations? Well, for the simple reason that I love them…

A new lease of life

I want to write but I don’t know how…and I’m going mad now trying to. I don’t mean write as in plain writing; I know my ABCs just as well as any five-year-old. What I mean is, once upon a time….long, long ago in fact, I used to write. I used to write stories – some short, some long. But I used to write.

Now I’m like an empty shell – an eggshell to be precise. The poor egg (that’s me) is frizzling in the pan. But the egg’s finally jumped. NOT into the fire as you may think, like the famous one in the age-old adage did. I wonder how that saying came about actually. I must Google that. Anyway, like I was saying, I did not, I mean, the egg did not jump into the fire. The smart egg waited till it was in the plate and then leaped out to explore the wide-wide world. See what I mean? I just can’t write. Look what happens – I start writing and then go on prattling about some egg.

Anyway, like the header suggests, I’ve got a new lease of life. I’ve just quit my job to pursue further studies. Lately I’ve been brooding over the fact that I haven’t been reading or studying much literature and I need to begin. A sudden urge came over me and I couldn’t help myself.

And believe me, I’m not superstitious – a black cat is just a black cat to me, and I refuse to believe a crow crowing outside my window means I’m going to have guests. What on earth could a poor crow do but crow? I don’t think The Almighty (whom also I have grave doubts about) really gave him much option. I bet crows know about this silly superstition of ours and deliberately come and harass us. They must be getting a kick out of seeing people wonder – “Oh, will Mrs. Awful-But-Full-Of-Gossip turn up today? Or could Uncle Black Sheep suddenly soil our doorstep and tarnish our reputation in The Society? Whatever, I have no problem with crows crowing…let them crow to their heart’s desire I say, because what will be will be. If I am destined to face a visitor, then so be it.

I digress. I was saying that though I’m not superstitious there were a lot of signs around. I mean, I was meeting people whom I had though I would never, and all of them had one thing in common – they all spoke about further studies and my plan to pursue literature. My urge thrived on these signs and encouraged me to give up my steady job to study. Nonetheless, I dilly-dallied. Matters came to a head when I was talking to Amey about my writing problem and told him how I don’t have the time to write. He had a simple solution – do your MA and write. MA will give me enough time to write and plus doing the thing I really really want to, will inspire me. So now, here I am, trying to start writing again.
Just keep your fingers crossed – I’m not superstitious, but since so you may believe in it, might as well do it and wish me luck! :)

The great retreat

My Uncle recently got a plot in Karjat...that seems to be in vogue right now - buying plots and then building a weekend home there. It sure sounds fun the way my Uncle talks about it.

My uncle's plot is nestled among several others, which are surrounded by beautiful green woods. A little stream goes running by this land, meandering its way through large, intimidating rocks. One can usually find my Uncle, Aunt, their two kids and two other kids (labradors) sitting on the rocks and splashing around in the water.


My Uncle's got big plans for the plot. He and his elder brother (Big Uncle) plan to erect a wind vane (the prototype's already whirring away on their land), windmill (will be ready soon), a tree house (how Enid Blytonish!!!) and shed. They plan to live in a container rather than build a house...reminds you of Enid Blyton's Famous Five, Five Find-Outers or Secret Seven stories, right? Well, considering he's been brought up on those books, I guess he's just fulfilling his childhood dreams. And how cool they are! I wonder how many years would pass by before I could fulfil my dreams...


The kids love it and the dogs simply go wild at Karjat. You get your space there and not to mention quiet. The human mind is such that it needs open spaces to run free...only then one can be at peace. Its seems like an ideal retreat for our minds cramped in flats and offices.


I haven't been there yet...excuse: office. Will go there next weekend if my Uncle's free.

Someone's bursting crackers - ouch! That one startled me! I HATE fireworks, especially the noisy ones. Gosh, now they're bursting two-three together...sounds like atom bombs, the bloody fools. I thought such high-decibel ones have been banned...crap, there they go again. I'm getting a headache now :x

Anyway, I shall now attempt to sleep amid all the 'celebrations'. I thought Diwali meant festival of light, where the heck did all the sound come in from?

Lovely weekend!

Its seems years since I've had such a great weekend...the last time I remember having fun was when I....I...see, I just can't remember!

Ever since I joined work I've been so involved that I just couldn't keep off it...even at home I used to think about office and talk about it. How irritating I must have been! But not anymore...I've decided to turn over a new leaf. Now I plan to bar everthing related to my office from my doors...I won't even think about people, nice though they may be.

Anyway, I digress...as always. My I had a nice Saturday. First of all, my parents bought a Maruti Ritz - a cute n unique car. And my Uncle wanted to gift her a music system so we all drove down to his place (the driver was a pain though, he came late n kept chewing on paan like a cow). Another reason to celebrate was my young cousin Sudip's birthday. A few of his friends came, made lots of noise, played Dragonball Z (awful graphics and highly colourful) ate pasta and went. After the kids left my Uncle's family n my Mum, Amey and I went out to eat...and drink of course :D

We returned home well past midnight. Dad wasn't so pleased, but it was the car's first night out na! :)

Woke up late on Sunday and lazed around, which is one of my favourite things to do. Surprise, surprise, the love of my life cooked butter chicken for me...I think he's a better cook than I am and he should take up the kitchen work in our later years :D

Now I'm listening to some lovely music and just about to sleep...love me tender love me sweet...a perfect end to a perfect day! :)

'Night all!

A working holiday

Gandhiji was such a hard worker that I'm sure he would apprectiate the way I plan to spend my day. We're bringing out a special issue this month, so I have to work today as well...no holiday for me. Sigh, in one fit of madness I name my blog 'Life is beautiful' and now this happens :)

Anyway, I actually have lots of topics to dicuss but no time right now. I always seem to be making excuses, don't I? But there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I'll post something later on today. Right now I need to edit some articles...ciao!

Completely knackered

Thanks to Omi, Paresh, Sanket, Sudha and the Little Voice Inside me (no I'm not mad, referring to my conscience) - I'm back! And guess what, I'm here to stay! Now, now, don't be so skeptical and critical...I know I've said this before and never stuck to my word, but this time I will...really. Just wait n watch.

Anyway, like my post declares, I'm truly well knackered right now, so I'll beging posting from tomorrow onwards. Arre, really!!!

Feels nice to be back...for like, the tenth time! :)

I’m Back!!!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m that happy to be back in the good ole blogosphere!

Ok, Omi, you were right. I was ill again…don’t worry, nothing serious. And before you ask me again, let me tell you I left the scripting job. The workload at office got too much…and my health wouldn’t allow me to do two jobs.

Anyways, now that’s over. So chapter closed.

Right now I’m on cloud nine coz I have the time to do a lot of stuff – blogging, sketching, painting and most importantly reading. I’m planning to buy a whole lot of books soon.

My Mom and Dad are so sweet. They gifted me 5 books, but only 2 appeal to me. Two books are by Sudha Murty – her language is too lame. I got bored with the simplicity of it all. Another book is ‘The Sea of Poppies’ by Amitav Ghosh. I started reading it, like it but soon switched over to Coelho’s ‘Brida’. Man, what a book! Awesome! It had me completely gripped. Dad also got me a Robin Sharma, which looks promising. Now I'm doing my best to finish Murty or my Dad will feel hurt that I didn’t like his choice. Sheesh, after this mental torture I’m going to Strand bookstall and getting myself some nice and classy literature.

WARNING: Buying Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Three Mistakes’ is the Fourth Mistake you’ll make! I haven’t dared to read it coz I heed good advice.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you…

This is how I started feeling. Everything was going wrong….terribly wrong. I felt I would never be able to get anything right. I was getting fed up with life….with people and with myself.

There were people who were judging me, criticizing me and assuming a whole lot of trash about me. People who spoke out of turn and never bothered to apologize…and who managed to blame me for things I could never dream of, let alone do.

I’m will to change myself for others, but what do I do when I don’t know what they expect from me? I like things to be very clear and straightforward – and I don’t mind people telling me anything, but they don’t. That keeps the situation shrouded in mystery and I’m left feeling guilty and with the hopeless question – ‘what do I do next?’

Then there were those who felt they were being cruel to be kind. I felt like the poor priest Peter Gilligan who said - “I have no rest nor joy nor peace.”

I knew I was cracking under the strain of controlling my anger and I was afraid. Afraid of my own brutal strength and force and afraid of what anger is capable of doing to a person.

Besides this there was lots of crazy stuff happening in my life. I couldn’t do anything about this problem and that freaked me out. It took every ounce of my self-control and will power to stop myself from going crazy. I wanted to scream, cry…do anything at all. But my throat was too parched and I found all my tears had dried up even before they could reach the eyes.

I was inconsolable. I was guilty of so many things and deeds that I soon lost count. My friends say it wasn’t my fault, but the doubt persists in my head like a slow poison – what if…

I hope this phase doesn’t come again in my life…I know it may and I’ll have bear it like I just did - my own little secret suffering.

Memories

(2^nd August post – sorry about the delay)

I just spoke to my best friend Sudha about our college days. She's in Banglore right now working for The Express Group.

These are some of our fond memories:

Once one Professor (she hated me) threw me outta the class for no fault of mine. Incensed, I stormed off to the Library and wrote down all my feelings, which were basically made up of unprintable adjectives.

One of my friends' Mayur, snatched that note from me and started blackmailing…at first I used to plead with him to return it, but then the matter gradually faded from my mind.

Today on Friendship’s Day, that rascal called me and read out the entire note! Gosh, it’s been like 5 years since that incident!!!!

Then there was a time when I bunked my Economics lecture. Unfortunately, the Prof knew me very well. She entered our next lecture in the IT Lab to find out who all has bunked her class. And what do you think I did? The minute I saw her I hid under a table! I’ve even hidden behind doors and cars and God knows where else to escape Profs! But what fun we had!

It was nice to talk about all those memories and that too with my best buddy. We all miss you Sudha! Well, except me :)

Work = Fun!

Today is my tenth day at office! Though it’s a different matter that I’m not at work today… :)

Anyways, I’m still having fun at work. Some things piss me off a lot, but I’ve learnt to keep my anger in check. I’ve bottled it up and yeah, I know that’s bad. But I’m confident of controlling myself…hmm, somewhat.

Rakesh, Kavita and Sundeep had not come to work on Friday, so the room was kinda empty. But hey, a new guy joined us!

Richy is a tall, dark and handsome guy from Banglore. He looks very promising, let’s see. Dirty minds, stop thinking, I’m already engaged! :D

Manas used to sit with the team, but now he’s shifted to a cabin of his own. He was toh maha happy and so were we! :)

The senior sub-editor, Serious Sarita and I share a common friend, Aruna. We talked about her and then used the cliché “it’s a small world!”

Whenever I joke wid Sarita, I have to clarify that it’s a joke lest she get pissed.

Paresh and I have a common Prof. He’s the most loved Prof. we ever had. Oi BMM students, remember how we used to mimic him??? Hee, hee!

Great News!

Amey’s in town and we went out for lunch! (Yipeeeeeeee!!!) It was great fun. He even met some of my colleagues – Mohan, Sanjay, Uttam, Sachin, Hemant and all.

The second day he met Anjali and Nishan (NC). NC was puffing away like a steam engine – smoking is injurious to health NC :)

Right now there’s a little green worm sitting next to me on the sofa! Cho chweet! Ouch, my Mom just came and threw it out. :(

She’s got me some coffee coz I have bad headache. She’s as chweet as the worm!

I’ve been puking a lot these days besides my constant headaches and nightmares. Eeks! And I have no idea why! My Aunt has told me to drink buttermilk (double eeks!) and eat an apple first thing in the morning.

Hmm, I may have to go to the Doc soon :(

Yet Beautiful and Proud she stood, as Born to Rule the Storm

The line is from the poem Casabianca. We learnt this in school and I still remember most of the lines. I just substituted the original “He” for “she”.

The headline of this post refers to an old lady I met at Dadar station. (14^th May, 2008 at 7.30 PM).

She was old, really old. She walked with a stoop, but her head was held as high as possible. Supporting her was a small and cute boy (probably her grandson). He was only about 6 years old, but he guided and supported her well.

She wanted to go to Kalyan in a fast train, so two girls told her to go by the 7.47 PM Dadar-Kalyan. The lady couldn’t understand how to reach the other platform, so I took her.

Hell, even I get lost at Dadar station, so how can I expect an old lady to reach there alone? And would she get there in time? Anyways, I offered to carry her bags, but she looked at me and shook her head.

What eyes she had! My God, they were beautiful, green eyes. Eyes that had seen the happiness and grief of life. The wisdom reflected in those eyes was as deep as the sea. Even now those eyes haunt me.

She was really proud and independent, but I took a bag anyways.

When we got to the platform, the damn train was about to leave, so we got into a general compartment. She immediately sat near the door.

We ultimately went to the ladies compartment. This time the kid took one bag. When I asked him for it, he smiled at me and shook his head. Like Granny like Grandson! :D

It was great to meet her. I’ll always remember her and the little boy. They were vulnerable and defenceless, but that didn’t stop them from being independent and proud of their identity.